If I’m honest there are some days when I’m just not “feelin” it. Not feeling like opening my bible or doing those dishes. Not feeling like getting up before the kids to check a few things off the to do list before they wake up. Often on these days I go to the extreme of giving into the feelings and literally not doing things that need to be done. Don’t get me wrong, rest is important! Self-care is very high on my priority list, but I’ve been convicted lately about my tendency to let my emotions rule the day.
Lately, the Lord has been speaking to me again and again about holiness and obedience. It’s come up in bible study, on podcasts, and during conferences I’ve attended and listened in to. Previously, I struggled with the idea and action of putting sin to death in my life because the heart behind it has been more out of obligation to God rather than in love and reverence to God. But as I’ve been seeking Him more and getting to know His heart better He has brought me to a place of desiring to be obedient, a place of trusting that His way truly is better and deeply desiring Him over the things of this world.
“Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against suchGalatians 5:19-23
thingsthere is no law.”
The areas God has been pointing out lately, in this season of parenting toddlers while pregnant, and planning our first women’s event, are self-discipline and self-control. There are always tasks that need to be done and limited amounts of time and energy to accomplish them. I personally have a tendency towards laziness, especially when I feel overwhelmed. In the midst of that temptation lately though I’ve heard the Lord beckoning me to rise early and to work as if I’m working unto the Lord. In the afternoons when that slump in energy hits and all I want to do is collapse on the couch for the duration of nap time, I hear His gentle urging, “Worship me”. And always when I flip on the Bethel Music youtube channel and spend a few minutes resting in His presence and being reminded of His goodness and mercy I find myself with renewed motivation and strength to persevere through the day.
What I’m learning is that my own efforts to put sin to death in the past failed because my heart wasn’t really in it, and because I was attempting to fight the temptations in my own strength. But, when God Himself beckons me in the early morning and I am faithful to respond the results are completely different. He shows up and provides all I need, often multiplying my time and productivity. When I’m feeling depleted and run to Him to renew me He is faithful to meet me and give me all I need and more.
Some days when He meets me I feel the gentle whisper say “rest” and so I fix a cup of hot tea or coffee and collapse onto the couch with my book club book. Ultimately, I’m finding so much hope and peace in the act of placing my time and energy at God’s feet and relying on His guidance throughout my day. It isn’t perfect, some days I still try and go it alone. But the more I surrender and rely on Him the more I appreciate and desire His presence and guidance in my day to day, hour to hour, moment to moment life.
Have you been pursing holiness lately? Has the heart behind it been duty and obligation or true love and trust in the supremacy of God’s ways?
If you find yourself working to put to death sin in your own strength, take some time to confess your own inadequacy and weakness to the Lord. Spend time dwelling on the truths from scripture about who God is and how the Holy Spirit is our helper in all things. Then, lay out your time and energy before the Lord and ask Him how He would have you use it and for His help to accomplish whatever lies before you today.
Join me this week in committing our days to Him, hour by hour, moment by moment.
Father, I need you. I need you every day, every hour, every moment. When I lose sight of you is when I begin to feel discouraged and overwhelmed. Be my guide