I wish I could say that since the day the Lord got my attention and I finally decided to fully surrender to Him, that my life has been dramatically different, but the truth is that after a week of intense action (taking 80% of the clothes in my closet and piling them on the window seat and creating this blog) life happened. Hurricane Harvey devastated our city, and overnight our day to day life was radically changed. Our home was spared from flooding, but many who we know and love were less fortunate. Our days now are filled with the weight of surviving unscathed and our desire to support those who didn’t.
It took a few weeks for me to find my footing again after Harvey – to reconcile what I was sure I heard the Lord speak to me before it hit with the new circumstances of our life. I’ve come to believe that He got my attention and reset my priorities just in time. When disaster strikes and devastation is so widespread there is only one way to respond – in generosity. Our community has needed the body of Christ to be generous with our time and our resources. There is no room for greed and selfishness.
I’ve personally never had a problem being generous with my money or possessions. For me, the most difficult thing to be generous with is my time, and more specifically my husbands time. I’ve been protective of our time together since before we were married, and while I still consider quality time together as a family one of our top priorities, glorifying God with how we choose to spend our time is ultimate. In the wake of Harvey this has been huge. We have two young children and it just isn’t realistic for both my husband and I to go help muck out homes. There have been many days where he has gone to help and I’ve “served” by staying home with the kids and choosing to joyfully let him go. In the past that kind of sacrifice would have been extremely hard for me to make without pouting and making sure he knew exactly how I felt about him leaving. The Lord knew that a change needed to happen in my heart before the storm.
I have been pleasantly surprised by the outcome of my willingness to “sacrifice” our family time, as it has turned out to be an unexpected blessing. With less time together we are more intentional with the time we do have, so I actually feel more loved by Kevin. Him being busy on the weekends has also provided more opportunities for me to spend time with my girl friends and I now feel closer to some of them than ever before. Isn’t it funny how what feels so much like a sacrifice can turn out to be a huge blessing?
My life may not look different in the ways I expected it to on that August day, but my heart feels different. On days when I’m frustrated and every step forward seems like three steps back (there are still clothes on my widow seat), the Lord reminds me that what he cares about first and foremost is my heart. I’m reminded again of the story of Martha and Mary. So the clothes may sit on my window seat for a few weeks (or months) longer, and I may not accomplish all the tasks on my list in this lifetime, but I will make it my top priority to sit at the feet of my Savior and rest in his presence for a few moments each day. His voice is the only thing that can truly drown out the noise of this world.