How could a loving God allow hurt in your life?

I want to speak to anyone who may be experiencing a trial. Who is wondering how a loving God could allow hurt into your life. Throughout my marriage, my husband and I have been through some stuff. We’ve experienced hurt and pain. We’ve sinned against each other and I remember times when there didn’t seem to be a way through our struggles. Once one thing would seem to improve another longing for something different would take its place.

I wondered, why?

I’m treading water here and I’m trying to be faithful. I’m praying to be a woman who is steadfast, strong, loving, kind, forgiving, joyful, yet somehow I’m still here. I’m still in this place. Feeling stuck in the mud, lost and alone.

I’m crying out to God, but I don’t feel him drawing near. Or I do, but his answer scares me. He whispers to me to trust him, but I don’t want to because I’m afraid of what he has in store.

Looking closely at scripture is scary because he tells me to sit at his feet and wait. He tells me to love and be patient. He tells me to rejoice. How can I possibly do that when things feel so hard?

“Consider it a great joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you experience various trials.”

James 1:2

How can I choose joy in this season? How can I trust him when I feel that He has failed me so far? I know He is a good, good father. He loves his daughters, his sons. He bled for us.

Steadfastness: being immovable, unable to be shaken, deeply rooted

As I mentioned, I’ve been praying to be a steadfast woman. The funny thing is my messy trial, the one I want to rush through and not experience, if I were to press in and rejoice in it, cling to God and scripture, would produce wisdom and steadfastness.

James tells us not to be so hasty to escape the faith-testing valleys because those valleys contain the fertile soil needed to produce steadfastness. When I think of Jesus, I associate him with the following characteristics: love, joy, and kindness.

While Jesus was definitely all those things, He also was described as “a man of suffering who knew what sickness was” Isaiah 53:3. Christ himself learned obedience through his suffering (Hebrews 5:8). Not only was He kind, joyful, and loving, He also walked through suffering and learned from His suffering.


“Although He was the Son, He learned obedience from what He suffered. After He was perfected, He became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey Him.”

Hebrews 5:8-9

Our God is a God who has walked before us. In that I take comfort. I want to pass through my trial or pretend it’s not happening and live a peaceful life on the surface because it’s what I think my life should look like. I think I’m failing if I’m struggling. Or I believe the lie that I am suffering because of something I did and God is disappointed in me or punishing me.

That’s simply not true.

As a daughter of the King, there is absolutely nothing that can set me apart from Christ. There is nothing I can do that would make Him not love me anymore. God is unchanging. He is steadfast, constant, always good, and always just. When He looks at His children He sees Jesus. He sees the cross.

I am so thankful for the cross. I am so thankful for Jesus.

When experiencing a trial do not minimize it or rush through it. Instead, press in and give thanks to the Lord. As hard as it may be, God could be using your suffering to refine you and answer a prayer you’ve been praying for some time, like me. Pray for endurance and steadfastness from the One who has already endured and proven Himself steadfast.


“Blessed is the one who endures trials, because when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.”

James 1:12

Sisters, don’t get over them. Don’t rush through them or past them. Rejoice in them.

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